Happy Mother’s Day to all the fab maternals out there! You practice your craft with all the grace, expertise, and humor that Betty White illustrated on last night’s episode of Saturday Night Live - Thank you mamas and thank you, Ms. White!!
- tdc
Dear Track,
First, I hope you don’t mind that tdc is a few hours late in sending you birthday greetings. As you know, your little bro’, Trig, just celebrated the big “oh-two” a couple of days ago, and I was a bit unprepared to offer more witticisms and whatnots again so soon. Those two things don’t always come easily to tdc. In fact, some might say they don’t come at all. Hm. Anyway…
I was going to write a long, drawn-out post, as is my wont on these occasions. I was planning to extol your virtues, praise you for your service to our country (thank you, by the way), and tell you that, from afar anyway, you seem like a great 21 year-old guy that any of us would be proud to know.
But, all of that seems unnecessary.
You appear to do just fine hanging out in the background, deftly avoiding all the fanfare and excessive attention. Your parents speak of you fondly (and humorously), and it’s pretty clear that your siblings love and appreciate their big brother. What more does a guy need, really?
With that in mind, I’ll cut to the chase with this one and simply say: Thank you for proving to be one of America’s finest, Track Palin - Happy 21st Birthday!
- tdc
Dear Little Man (aka Trig Palin) -
Congratulations!! Today, you’ve reached a milestone…it’s your first even-numbered birthday!
Yeah, I realize it may not seem like much now, but as you get older and older…and older, you’ll start looking for something (anything) to celebrate when your big day comes. Trust me. You might as well start practicing now…
That said, you’re still young so you have plenty of things to celebrate. I took the liberty of preparing a list, should you need a reminder:
- You have a great older sister in Piper (though, once you hit high school, you may want to tell her “ixnay on the ickinglay of my airhay”)
- Your hip mom has practically redefined Facebook! (though, even cool parents make things “uncool” when they start using them…)
- You’ve visited so many places, you’ll totally win that game, “How many states have you been to?”, next time you and the other toddlers hit the playground.
- You’re pretty much guaranteed to rock at basketball. It’s genetic or somethin’.
- At just two years old, you’re already kind of a big deal.
As if all that weren’t enough, you’ve got literally millions of total strangers looking out for you, praying for you, and generally wishing you well each and every day. The best part is, it’s all about you - not your parents, or your siblings, or your last name. Nope, it’s about what you, one toddler in the ‘silla, have done for all of us.
You’ve reminded us all of the beautiful gift that is the life of a child, and the joy you bring to your family has been contagious. We giggle with you when we hear your funny laugh. And we instinctively act like little old ladies when we see a cute picture of you (“Aaaawwwwwww….”). In you, Little Man, we see the faces of our own siblings, cousins, daughters and sons, and that means you hold a special place in a lot of hearts.
So, on your 2nd birthday today, we offer up our prayers for you - prayers of protection and well-being, and, also, of gratitude. Thank you for being our shining light in the Mat Su (to paraphrase one of Mom’s favorite quotes). We’re all a little better for having you in our lives.
Now, off you go to practice yelling, “NO!” to everything your family says to you.
- tdc
*Photo courtesy Sarah’s Web Brigade
*Video courtesy Gretawire (video removed from tdc, but visible at the link)
Dear Piper,
I hope you don’t mind that millions of perfect strangers have adopted you as one of our own. We really can’t help it. You’re a cool kid.
You’ve had some great adventures across the entire country (trick-or-treating in Pennsylvania?). You’ve met really interesting people (hellloooo Oprah!…and Joe Biden…), and you’ve exhibited poise and grace in national television interviews (Barbara Walters was out of her league). All of this before you’ve hit junior high!
Needless to say, the design conservative doesn’t have anything to give you that would rival the experiences I just mentioned. But, I do offer my sincere best wishes that you have a fantastic birthday! I hope your day is filled with lots of hugs, an obscene amount of doting and, of course, a ginormous cake!
Most of all, I want to say: Don’t go changin’, Piper Palin…stay cool, sister!
- tdc
*Photo taken in Loveland, CO during the 2008 campaign. Sorry, Piper…you blinked!
Dear Governor Palin,
As the design conservative, I feel somewhat obligated to offer an appropriately design-related gift to you on your birthday. I thought long and hard about this because I wanted to get you something that would be useful, yet fun. Creative, yet functional. And, alas, maybe something you could even pass on to the kids.
After much soul- (and Google-) searching, I think I’ve found the perfect item to express my gratitude for the things you’ve accomplished this past year. It’s something you currently use with great, shall we say, flair? And, as a bonus, it’s a gift that we - your very appreciative and amused supporters - can only hope will keep on giving in the years to come.
Yes…I think I found just the right thing for you:
*
*
*
*
…now, don’t say I never gave you nothin’…
**HAVE A HAPPY (AND CREATIVE) BIRTHDAY, GOVERNOR PALIN!**
- tdc
PS: Readers - consider a donation to SarahPAC. Ya know…more Sharpies…
*BONUS: Bob and Mark, Alaskan radio hosts, give Governor Palin a birthday call
My favorite Super Bowl ad - because everyone needs a break from politics…
*If you have a favorite, share it with us in the comments.
- tdc
*BONUS:
Here’s the Focus on the Family ad that caused all the hubub. Brilliantly lighthearted.
